Dating girls with depression
And I’ve noticed that people with an honest interest in my well-being are very understanding when I express that need.
I acknowledge the part of myself that was once completely convinced that my existence was meaningless, however I’m also able to decide that even when living seems hard, the moments of joy make the moments of misery worth it.
Essentially, my radar for picking well-meaning partners was broken because my self-esteem had gone dry.
Within the span of a few months, I was sexually assaulted (again), my parents divorced, and I left a long-term cohabiting relationship.
But for me, a bisexual and queer woman who at the time was primarily dating cis-gendered straight men, it meant a stream of partners being attracted to, and enjoying, my inability to stand up for myself: an excuse to sleep with a “beautifully fragile” woman who would not ask for much in return.
We are worried about the predators who come at it from a place of bad intention—a person who probably has either a narcissistic or antisocial personality, somebody who lacks empathy.”Indeed, one of the most twisted guys I dated during my lowest was a man whose label read “Antisocial Personality Disorder.” He wore it loudly through lies, a lack of empathy, and eventually, verbal abuse.The other type of problematic partner one encounters while living with depression is the savior.In cinematic portrayals of love and depression, the sad girl’s partner usually has good intentions. The trouble is, you can set groundwork for a relationship dynamic that is difficult to unweave later, says New York City-based sex therapist Kelly Wise.So I continue to work hard while making time for self-care, which for me, looks like splurging on a good massage followed by a night of reading, or watching Shonda Rhimes.As a single person, since many of my demons did arise from sexual assault and abuse, I now make sure to let lovers know when I need some time and space.