Dating no desire
This effect is most marked with regard to sleep, which is invariably disrupted.But there can be adverse effects on any activity that requires energy, spontaneity and good co-ordination – and that includes sex.But there are a few things you can do to help yourself and your partner get through this difficult time. They don't feel they can raise enough energy to pursue their normal routine, do things with the family or even notice when their partners are being attentive.This can quickly lead to the non-depressed partner feeling that he or she is in the way, unwanted, or unloved.We don't know enough about the chemical changes that occur in the brain during depression and little research has been done on how these changes affect sex.From a clinical point of view, however, it's clear that a depressive illness tends to affect all the bodily systems, dislocating them and often slowing them down.Depressed people often want to stay home and do nothing, but if you do this too, you'll get terribly fed up.🔸 This will pass: Remember that your partner's illness will pass and that he or she is the same person underneath the depression as before.🔸 Exercise: Try to take some exercise together.Most depressed people feel an improvement in their spirits if they do something active.
Admittedly, this isn't always the case, and some depressed people manage to maintain normal sex lives – sometimes even finding that making love is the only thing that gives them comfort and reassurance.🔹 For men: the general damping down of brain activity causes feelings of tiredness and hopelessness, which may be associated with loss of libido and erection problems.🔹 For women: this diminished brain activity tends to be associated with lack of interest in sex and very often with difficulty in reaching orgasm.
Many GP practices can also provide CBT by means of Internet programmes.
These can have a good effect quite quickly.🔸 TLC: Try to act as though your partner were recovering from a serious physical illness or from surgery. But don't expect improvement to be rapid.🔸 Look after yourself: Do something nice for yourself.
If this happens – and you are keen to have and enjoy sex – ask your doctor about changing medication. If you are suffering from depression, on your better days, try to make an effort to show love and appreciation to your partner.
The following tips might also help:🔹 Exercise: Try to go for a walk every day, preferably with your partner.